A dark giggle.

She ran out. The gushing feeling that is now somewhat… or possibly completely unknown. She ran out. The tears flushed from her eyes while the snot continuously slid out her nose.
She sat alone on the curb. In the middle of the street. She glanced up and struggled to see the people strolling by, through her tear sunk eyes. One by one cars slowly rolled down the street, staring at the distraught girl, alone and helpless.

She hit that point where she grasped a definite feeling. She’s done.

She looked around. Unsure of herself, her surroundings, her actions. She sat there, empty for a while, staring at the street lamp that stood directly across from her. Nothing. Without even a glance, she waited for the small green car to proceed past her. Her eyes quickly blinked, breaking her stare.She lifted her right arm, curled each finger in one by one, took in a deep breath of the clear fog and with all her strength, threw her fist into the cement. The crunch of her bones to the pavement made the force even stronger. She kept throwing. Over and over and over and over. Each time her knuckles struck, her bones cracked, and the skin was ripped and mushed into it self. Endless pools of blood immediately poured, escaping every whack. She kept punching and hitting and whacking and screaming and crying. She cursed quietly to herself as more and more time grew between each throw. She slowed and eventually came to a stop. She allowed her upper body to go completely limp. Heavy breathes. Her face swollen from the eyes. Splattered blood dropped. Cracked knuckles dug in deep.Lying there. She felt the rush starting to relax. Her body coming to a stop. Her body slowing down. Her body in itself. She plugged her ears so to end the chirping birds screaming at her. And all she could hear was the pounding of her heart, the pulsing of her face. The breaths struggling to come out. She wanted to leave. She wanted to get swallowed up by the infinite, blue sky.

Slowly, her eyes slid up. A clear and beautiful blue. Birds soaring by. Off to someplace far, far away... some place to simply, be. 'I wish I was a bird.' She thought.

She imagined...a swarm of crows swooping down, whirling her in the air, and bouncing her up high. Up Up Up Up Up. Floating up to the softness. She sat on a cloud as her mind let her embrace the physicality of her surroundings. Smooth, pouring silk, surrounded her fingers and toes. She began to laugh. No, giggle...she began to giggle uncontrollably. It wrenched pain throughout her chest but she couldn't help it, any of it. She just... didn't care. She realized then that this pain, this pain from laughter is the best pain she would ever, and could ever possibly feel. A pain she could smile at.

She opened her eyes. Her mind slipped out of the cloud. Her smile dropped. And soon, she was asleep. Her whirlwind of thoughts took her to endless space, a blackness known to no one else. Dark holes after the darkest dark. The blackest black. The deepest. The lowest. The strongest pounding of hurt. The largest curl of a smile. She's out. And it won't be a while until..................The dark became lighter, softer, brighter. The light was almost reached. She slowly came to and blinked her large eyes. The light burned. She carefully pulled her eyelids apart, for the tears had stuck them shut. The light scorched. More tears came. They stung. She squeezed her eyes together to let the burning sensation loosen and carefully flow out.

She tried to lift her hands to wipe away the tears. She couldn't. It was then she realized the throbbing pain. Her knuckles black and swollen. Dried, crusty blood. pound pound pound pound pound!


They wouldn't stop pounding. The pain was intense, but she liked it. The anger was gone, and the mad man inside her was set free.

She forced her hands up. She forced the two lumps of dense weight that hung from her wrists that uncontrollably shook, as she wiped the tears away. Carefully, she flicked the dried blood from her hands.

Her eyes focused on her body for the first time, and as she sat up, she realized that the light that had just burned through her eyes, was nothing more than a street lamp.

It was night.

Panic... Panic Panic Panic Panic.

The breaths got faster and shorter. Faster faster Faster. And then she remembered. She remembered the pain. The wrenching pain from her stomach.

She stopped her mind and ceased to look into her brain. She was switched to the world that surrounded her within that very moment. She scanned the street.

Abandoned buildings.

A few lights poking out behind window curtains.
She tried to stand but immediately her head spun and her legs gave out as she slowly retreated back onto the cold pavement.

For the first time, she looked down at her body. Noticing how thin she had gotten. Her fragile shirt all stretched out. A few small holes randomly placed about. Her jeans… slightly baggy.

She looked at her hands. Still black and blood. She smiled.

A gust of wind whispered in her ear sending chills down and throughout. She shivered. Her eyes close and she lets the pulse travel inside her. She breathed in and let her eyes slowly, softly, calmly, and gently...open. Her knees suddenly locked.

A shadow. On the cross sidewalk.

She blinked.

It was gone.

She didn't let herself pay too much attention to it. It was just her powerless mind wandering in the dark. She wondered throughout the corner of her mind. Remembering, grasping. Finding open doors she wished to shut so that maybe, just maybe, another will fly open and suck her in without even being able to make the decision for herself.

But she can't close them yet.

They are way to heavy and strong for her weak, frail body.