AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!

"AND I GET TO KISS YOU BABY JUST BECAUSE I CAN!"


Once in a BLUE MOON.

Watch for it, I kid you not.

;)

Stanley123

This little man will never fail me.

:)

(I swear I'm going to be the old cat lady down the street.)

oh my goodness.

I'm so sorry.

all you wanted was a friend. a true friend.

how depressing.

and once again. I found my smiley face. and once again. I laughed.

chapstick is for chapped (b)lips.

I desire to realize that my understanding of this new knowledge is truly the road to curlier days.

I accept apologies, but not through hyperlinks.

I know how to validate. Only certain aspects of this purple pod.

Night walks do calm me down. Even if my nose does run away from me and my fingers disappear. it's worth a shot to try and 'accidentally' halt in the middle of the street and find head lights blaring into my eyes saying...'GOTCHYA!'

Just like my fly swatter.

I'm just another fly. But I have red wings. Nobody else has red wings...right?

Please,

find me.

Numbers.

They always seem to surround us. Telling us how terrible or excellent we are.

How many months.
How many lbs.
Percentages.
How many words.
How many gallons of gas.
How little lbs.
How many smiles.
How many cups of coffee.
How much makeup.
How many hours.

"Quality NOT Quantity," I always say...

(really though, it's only becase I don't know how to switch the phrase around. it takes too many minutes.=dissapointment.)
1,2,3...

But.

You wanna know what I really wish?

That I truly knew how to read a BOOK.

Kiss and Story Time.

It still makes me nauseous. that noise.

But I have no gag reflex. So I don't know how to throw it up.

CD ROM.

Everyday I feel different. Everyday I feel better. Everyday I smile for no reason. And everday I care about something. Even if that something is close to nothing, at least it's a something.

Everyday I feel like dancing.

Everyday I learn.

I really enjoy learning. I once said...'I want to stop because I want to grow up.' That's why I stopped. And now so many more reasons fall into the category of stopping. I get to find some sort of roots. and I have. Which makes all your tears far too distant to even wonder about.

I do care. But only as much as you do. So I'll let you decide where that line falls.

The Call.

That ball of light. only exists when I want it to.

I forgot. Forgetting is hard to do. But I manage to soak it in like a sponge.

The moment those three lines start to flash...I remember. And THEN that smiley face on my umbrella laughs with me.

It's truly exquisite. Not really. But it is super fun.

:)

haha!

and to that I say... FUCK YOU.

at least I don't lie to myself.

So,

You live. and you learn...

"Okay OKAY! I've learned...now what, huh? NOW WHAT?"
...
Oh honey, you still gotta live.

and so it is.

I cannot wait.

We were just singing. All of a sudden my dots overflowed with warmth and the rock started to roll and roll and roll and roll. Snowball effect? I guess you could say. In order to depict the way the snow kept latching onto my fingernails.

...this story. written months and months and months ago... but today when you said that you found your old "sweetheart." the chills sent down my spine for that glimpse of a genuine smile :)!

Uh + Door+ ed.

???

... (3 part CHEEZY)

A story...

The beginning: She glanced up and met his smile.

For those few months, that's all it was. The eye-catching glimpse of the unknown cravings between the pretty girl, and adorable boy.

Innocence.

She knew nothing of him. He knew nothing of her. But something was similar. And as time passed, her smile shrank as his grew flat.

He found another face to hold while she pretended to curl her lips up, and laugh whenever she could.

More time passed, and love was thrown at her. From directions she never expected, from directions she couldn't toss back. So all she could do was smile,

while the months slunked on.

And possibly, the feelings were forgotten, but they were still kept snug withing the cute little toy chest in the back of her mind.

One day, she took the key, unlocked, and kissed whatever it was that had been hiding.

She let it pour, she let it bleed, she let it sink.

Tears slid down her cheek. She carefully licked her dry lips, pressed her fingers upon her swollen eyes, and took the deepest breath. She sank to her drop. Her body became limp and she found herself immidiately laughing...hysterically.

SMILE. (and say Cheese.)

The Middle:

She was sad. She shouldn't have been though. She did love it all. She wrapped her fluffy pillow around her head and screamed. As loud as she could, she screamed. She screamed until the blood in the back of her throat seeped inbetween her teeth. She screamed until...

She screamed until her body grew weak, and well...she fell.

That word? Was it truly that, that she had been enveloped within all this time? No. Maybe. It's a possible thought. It's a lovely thought. But with the thought of being in IT, she grew roots that kept her STUCK. No more was she lost.

Stuck. The roots had no where to grow but down towards the worms.

So, she sank deeper. And deeper. Until she was sucked into hatred and the terrifying feeling of losing. True smiles were forgotten. Fake. and Lies. She wished upon every star, and every eye-lash, and every full moon that they would soon turn real. But, nothing, not a hug, a glance, a yell, a story, a giggle; nothing could keep her from a Fake.

This was it. Nothing new. She simply just, was.

Ridiculously stuck...No legs to run with. No mask to disguise. No thing to show her teeth. Only that of what was now dead. And, of course, at this particular moment in time, trying to find it would of course be a never ending maze of HIDE-and-SEEK. Goodbye.

(Beginning of) The End:

"I love you."

"And I love you."

They kissed, letting each others lips linger for as long as they possibly could.

They quietly whispered 'Goodbye' into the others eyes.

Her:: She slowly spun around on her bare heels and slipped into her car. When she turned her focus out of the window, he had disappeared. She smiled, giggled, and wiggled and drove away, carfeully. Not letting her mind wander off of his face. Not once.

Him:: He nudged her soft body towards her car. Holding onto her gentle hands for as long as the growing space between them allowed. He watched her stumble through her door. And as she sat, he skipped away with the burning feeling in his chest. The burning feeling to scream his smile but, he didn't. Instead, he skipped. Too quickly, becasue soon enough, his skips turned into runs, and one run turned into a trip, and he fell.

He felt no pain.

Her.

and

Him.

Something has to be worth a few scrapes here and there. It was worth some sort of bloody knee.

Worth.

Person number 1.

I still see the pain in your eyes. I always will.

I'd like to....

reach into your shirt pocket.

drive three miles per hour.

lay down and have no idea where the car is taking me.

and

watch Dumbo fly away with his HUGE ears.

Only if it's okay with you.

Of course.

:)

With loads of love,

...

Me.

hmmm.

It's nice, ya know?

Not NEEDING.

But now, I forget what WANTING entails.

Can't even crack open a can of 'OOPS' anymore. Or even, 'COME HERE.'

just something i heard one day. (a new favorite.)

"To say that you are cute, is like saying a strawberry is sweet."